Cut the bread into thick slices and arrange on a large board or platter.
Cut the cheese into thick chunks or wedges and arrange alongside the bread.
Spoon the pickle or chutney into small bowls and place on the board.
Slice the apple and tomato. Add them to the board along with the pickled onions.
Add any cold meat, crisps or radishes you have. Butter the bread generously.
Let everyone help themselves. This is not a recipe so much as an assembly job - pile your bread with cheese, pickle and whatever else takes your fancy.